Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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