YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
