Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize