God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
