you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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