you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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