Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
