Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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