Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
