i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
