Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
