So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize