Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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