Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
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How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
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I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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