I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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