I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
