well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
