2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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