Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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