The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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