I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
