That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
