just tell him i said nine months
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
