You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
