He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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