I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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