I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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