Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We just shotgunned beers for America
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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