he told me I talked like a deaf person
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
