You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
