Can Purell be used as lube?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
