me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize