I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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