There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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