Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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