Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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