i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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