im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
