my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
