Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
