i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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