if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
