arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
