Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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