drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
