Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
