great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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