hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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