Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
