Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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