I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you would pick up someone in the library
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
