its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
