i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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