It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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