oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
