ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
