Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
