were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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