It's Friday. Sex?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
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Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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