I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
