I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
