He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
