Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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