Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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