My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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