If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think a kid would responsible me up
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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