Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
