You're my little dorito
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
did i just pee glitter
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
