girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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